


Not finished

by your_local_grandpa



Category: Original Work
Genre: Asexual Character, Being called an old man, British English, Everyday Life, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Smoking, Hobbies, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mild Smut, No Sex, POV First Person, Pansexual Character, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Road Trips, Socially awkward, Swearing, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, University, he's 19
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29958882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_local_grandpa/pseuds/your_local_grandpa
Summary: A story about one of my many original characters. He just wants to be normal, or as normal as he can be. Join him and his friends on an adventure through the online classes at 'The University of Arts in London', where he deals with things from mental health and unhealthy coping mechanisms to getting pissed with your friends in Dubai and having your faces plastered around the city by the police. This is the 'uneventful' life of one college student who learns how to deal with the shitty cards he was dealt by fate.
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character





	1. Chapter 1

I stood at the exit of the library looking out at the downpour that I had not prepared for. The papers and book I held under my arm were far too important to get wet, and the small bag that held my laptop and several other books and papers was full. I turned to walk back in and buy a fabric bag from the gift shop, the library being part of a college campus meant they sold tacky clothes and bags with the logo of the school on it, not like I’d use the bag often anyways. I went up to the stand and picked one up that had the least on it, I could rip the stitching out and redo it if I found the time later in the week. I brought it to the register and payed, thanking the lady before carefully placing the papers and book in and slinging it over my shoulder with my other bag. The grey Burberry trench coat I wore was open, the wind making it flap about. I tied the two pieces of fabric that dangled aimlessly half-the-time together before setting out back to my apartment. It was not a long walk but because of the weather it seemed so, the rain was heavy as was the wind.  
I made it into my apartment, the smell of smoke wasn’t as bad as this morning but the mess was as I had left it: 2 empty whiskey bottles and 4 empty cartons of cigarettes littered the pecan coloured coffee table, as did many more bottles and cartons around the apartment. I had forgotten I needed to clean up and go shopping. I looked at the clock on the wall, there was a large crack starting in the centre from a while ago, I was too drunk to remember what happened. The time was 4:25pm, plenty of time to go to the Tesco’s down the street. I could’ve gone right as I left the library, but my brain was fried from working. I decided to make a list of things I needed before I left, bread, eggs, butter, milk, the usual things. More bleach and wipes. I needed more face scrubs and masks as well. I hesitated to add alcohol and cigarettes, knowing at 19 I shouldn’t be as reliant on them as I am, I caved adding Scotch, Smirnoff and cigarettes to the bottom of the list. I placed my bags down beside the corner desk in the living room, my drawing pad and desktop needing a desperate clean. I went to the coat rack beside the entrance door, taking my Burberry trench coat off and switching it for a more suitable water proof one, I also picked up some reusable fabric and freezer bags that I had also hung up. I decided to take the car my friend had left in my care, knowing them they wouldn’t mind. I opened the door and headed for Tesco’s.  
I made it into the Tesco’s on Fleet Street, not being half as busy as I had thought it would be seen as it was 4:50pm. I casually walked around, picking up the things I had on my shopping list, ending the venture in the alcohol isle, picking up 2 bottles of Scotch and Smirnoff. Waiting in line was always the worst, the stares I would get from women was jarring as it seemed they were eye-fucking me. Some of the older women would comment on my grey-hair, not knowing I was 19 and not 40-something; they would make rude comments towards me to their friends, some even said the nasty comments straight to my face, laughing it off as a joke when I said I was 19.  
I payed for all my shopping, using fewer bags than I thought, and placed all the shopping in the backseats of the car. Before heading home, I decided to stop by a coffee shop near the Tesco’s. I had been there before because a friend always picked up their coffee beans and tea from there. I had tried most of their range but ultimately stuck with the Lady Grey tea and Pressed Blend coffee mix, trying to quit alcohol was much harder when you didn’t have another drink to substitute, and I am trying to change it out for coffee or tea.  
I walked into the store and went to pick up my usual order from the shelves. The coffee was a 1kg bag whilst the tea was only 100g. I picked up 10 of the tea pouches to match the coffee, knowing full well I wasn’t the one that was going to drink most of it, and waited at the counter to be served. A guy came out of nowhere on the other side, a chipper ‘hello’ and a slight wave was all he said, his eyes glued to mine. I coughed to get his attention, feeling to awkward to say anything. He blinked and a slight blush appeared on his cheeks, a meek apology left his lips as he rung up my items. I pulled a bag out of my jacket pocket and placed the items into the bag. Before I turned to leave the guy spoke up, “Your eyes are really… what’s the word? They are really nice.” I smiled at him and thanked him, looking at his name tag it read ‘Elijah’, “You have a very pretty name Elijah.” I said, making him cover his face and scurry off into the back of the store. I chuckle to myself before leaving the shop and heading home.  
As I struggled getting the bags into the apartment, my phone vibrated in my front pocket. I placed the last bag onto the kitchen counter and took my phone out, the message was sent by one of my college friends who I had dubbed ‘cock sleeve’ for various reasons. I opened the message, he had asked if I was coming to his for drinks tonight, on a Tuesday. I was all up for drinking tonight but I had looked at my calendar and I had 4 assignments due this week that I had not completed, they had all needed to be finished and checked. Hesitantly, I declined his offer, reprimanding him for trying to get me to have a two-person bender with him on a weekday. I decided to put the shopping away first before making dinner, not knowing what to have. I cleaned the apartment as I thought of what to eat. I landed on having chicken parmesan, the chicken was almost out of date anyway so why not?  
After I had finished making tea, I plated some of it and put the lid onto the tea pot I begun steeping when making my tea, it felt nice having a pot of tea instead of just one cup. I sat at the living room desk with my plate and pot of tea, a cup being set down there earlier on. I turned my PC on along with my tablet, rummaging through my bag to get my sketchbook out with the designs I needed to render before finalizing on the tablet. Deciding to become a graphics designer was my dream job, but damn was it hell. One of the assignments was to update my website and logo, which was the same assignment. I had gotten 4 job offers through my website, being payed quite a large amount of money for them. I had enjoyed working on all of the jobs, some employers even saying they would come back to me if they needed any other designs for later projects. My websites aesthetic reflected my own, varying levels of greys and very light blues, a minimalists dream I dare say. The first assignment I was going to finish was due in the morning, and I only needed to render and finalize the logo. The task was to make your own beverage company, any beverage was acceptable but it had to be appropriately named and advertised. I had chosen to go for a children’s drink, making the concept loosely reference Volvic flavoured water but with more interesting flavours.  
It was around 10:30pm when I had finished 3 of the 4 assignments I was set, the one due in the morning was already sent as where the other two. The last one was due by Saturday night and seen as I was nearly done with it I decided I had done enough for tonight. Stretching before I got up, I placed the dishes in the sink, cleaning the tea leaves out of the pot. I walked back to the desk and sat down, getting comfortable in the office chair. I opened my phone and saw that the WhatsApp chat was lively, opening the chat I expected it to be Sofia and Eric fighting over some trivial thing, but it was a conversation between all 7 other people about dating.  
Cock Sleeve: All I’m saying is that Marce won’t date anyone who was overweight!  
Sofia<3: How do you know that dumbass!!?  
Cock Sleeve: Have you seen him, he’s muscular as all hell AND hot as shit. Everyone who is like that likes skinny women.  
I sighed loudly, before typing;  
Team Grandpa: Cock sleeve, do I have to remind you that I prefer chubbier women over thinner women, same goes for men and everything in-between. Instead of talking about my sex life, can y’all come up with a better conversation?  
It was always the same when it was discussed and always ended with the same statement. My phone started to ring, someone was calling everyone in the chat. Pressing the accept button, I was immediately deafened by Sofia screaming at cock sleeve.  
“HAH, get fucked you whore!”  
“Sofia, please calm down, it’s common knowledge, especially to him, he’s just fucking with you.”  
That made her huff a ‘whatever’ before she went on a tangent about her sculpture/figure drawing courses.  
“Hey Marce-“  
“No.”  
“But Marcellus-“  
“I am not posing nude for your sculpture OR figure drawing class Sofia.”  
“C’mon Marcellus, it’d be fun.” Arlo teased.  
I hesitated. I didn’t want to pose nude. AT ALL. But I could help with figure drawing.  
“Fine, only the figure drawing though Sofia, and I get to keep clothes on, deal?”  
“Deal.” She said, obviously saddened by my lack of nudity.  
The 8 of us talked for a while about our school work, most of us being in similar classes. Somehow the conversation came back around to sex. Sofia talking about how none of the men that dm’ed her were ‘hot like Marce’.  
“Hey Marce, what DO you find attractive?” Jase said, making the others mumble their own ‘yeah’s’ and questions.  
“I don’t exactly have a preference I guess, If I were to say where I land I guess I’m an Asexual and Pansexual.”  
Everyone in call seemed to hum at my answer.  
“So,” Arlo spoke, “if we were to be dating you wouldn’t want to fuck me?”  
“That is what being asexual means Arlo.” I answered  
“And that goes for women, Non-binaries and everything else right?”  
“Arlo, my dear. You have such a thick head I wonder how you even got into university.” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.  
Everyone laughed as the conversation changed once again, this time to TV shows that we were watching.  
“Hey Sofia and Kai, when are you coming back to our apartment?” I asked.  
“I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon, about half 1 at the earliest.” Sofia answered, adding a yes under her breath.  
“I’ll be back Thursday morning.” Kai said.  
“Why’d you want to know Marce?” Sofia teased, I could see her eyebrows wriggling.  
“I bought more Lady Grey and Pressed blend today. Also, I can’t cook for shit.” I chuckled.  
I looked at the time on the broken clock, 2:20am. We all said our goodbyes before leaving the call. The emptiness and silence of the apartment started to settle in once again. The urge to drink some Scotch arose, like it usually did when I was alone, but I beat it down by heading off to bed. Stripping and changing into grey plaid trousers and a loose grey t-shirt, I then laid onto the bed, wrapping myself in the covers and drifting off into sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I was in a shit mood when I woke. I had 7 online classes today, 4 with professors that treated me like a gift sent from god, and they were all notorious for preying on students. Luckily, none of the classes were heavily based on designing anything, like normal, it was just analysing and discussing new trends in advertising. My favourite class was last, which was typical. It was Fashion Marketing. The professor was laid-back but firm, he was in his late 20’s and I found him attractive. Arlo was in the class to, and we privately talked about his outfits and how he styled himself that day, which sounds weird, but all of my friends talked about peoples’ fashion. He was called Professor Lucian Fayton. He had black, swept back hair with shaved sides, his eyes were honey coloured. He had a strong roman nose with a small, faded scar on his nose. I had never met him in person, but I had heard he was 6”2. I had also learnt he was a father to a 6-year-old girl called Irena, she had walked in on him while he was teaching us, and had asked if she was seeing her mum that weekend.  
After classes were done, it was 2:30pm and I had gone through 5 cups of coffee and A LOT of granola and yoghurt. Sofia had one class left and after that she was going to style me for her figure drawing class, she was going to take photos on her phone and then reference them like she always did. I decided to go for a walk and stretch my legs, deciding to walk to a Starbucks, I asked Sofia if she wanted anything.  
Arriving at the Starbucks was easy, ordering our items wasn’t. I rarely went to Starbucks unlike Sofia so I had no clue what was on the menu, Sofia had asked for the Chai Tea Frappe. As I stood at the register, I asked the girl working what she recommended.  
“Oh! I recommend the Cold Foam Iced Cappuccino, sir!” She said, obvious pain behind the blue eyes.  
I nodded and ordered the two drinks and 2 bags of smoked almonds. When the girl called my order she passed a napkin with writing on it, a cliché way of flirting. I nodded and thanked her before leaving and walking home.  
When I walked through the door, I gave Sofia her drink and a bag of almonds.  
“Some girl gave me her number.” I said, taking a sip of the cappuccino.  
Sofia coughed, hitting her chest with her fist.  
“WHAT!!?? YOU GET FLIRTED WITH AT CAFES AND SHIT AND I DON’T!??”  
I laughed as I placed my cappuccino on the coffee table.  
“Should I te- “  
“You are 100% texting her Marce.”  
I took my phone out and opened my contacts and clicked add new and entered the number I was given.  
You: Hey, it’s Marcellus. I believe it was your number you gave me, but I may be wrong, so please excuse this if it is not you.”  
Sofia sighed as I pressed send. She covered her face with her hands and shook her head.  
“You text like an old man.”  
“I don’t, I just text politely, unlike some people.” I squinted my eyes as I looked at Sofia, standing up.  
Sofia and I got ready for the photos, conversing about random things we heard during the day, talking about Professor Fayton was a topic that came up in our group quite a bit, because he taught all of us and we all found him hot. Sofia put a YouTube playlist on called ‘You’re on a long road trip with the BakuSquad & everyone gets the aux’ by roxyrattt. She had picked out clothes from my wardrobe, a dark grey turtleneck with a grey tweed suit jacket with plaid grandpa trousers with varying greys tones, a black belt with a gold buckle, and my black, shin-high Doc Martin’s. The socks didn’t really matter so I kept the ones I had on already.  
The shoot took 30 minutes, Sofia decided to get Mexican food as a reward for her hard work. I looked at the broken clock, which I really need to replace, and it was 4:50pm. I opened my phone and saw I had gotten a text from the girl, it was sent 20 minutes ago so I assumed she had just gotten off work.  
Lina: Hey, yes, it is my no. Sry if I was str8 forward by giving u my no. It’s not so I can flrt or anything, u just seemed really cool and grounded. My names Lina!  
I smiled at her words. If anything, my friends wouldn’t call me grounded and I couldn’t see how I seemed grounded anyway.  
You: It’s fine, I appreciate the words Lina. I don’t know where the impression I was grounded came from but people have different views, my friends definitely wouldn’t call me grounded and when you get to know me I think your views will change. I have a question to ask you, my roommate says I talk and text like an old man, do I? I never really thought about it before, but getting a new person’s thoughts might clear things up.  
As I pressed send, the door bell rung and Sofia bolted to open it. I stood up from my seat and walked to get us plates and cutlery. As we ate, we again talked about random things we saw. My phone buzzed and lit up with a text from Lina.  
Lina: U do talk politely, not like an old man. How old are you? I’m 20.  
You: I’m 19.  
Lina: Ah, well for someone who is young, I’d say u do talk a bit to correct, but that’s completely fine!  
You: Well, I appreciate you honestly Lina.  
Lina: If it’s not too much trouble, can I add u to a chat I have with frnds?  
My thumbs hovered over the keyboard, mouth full of food.  
“What’s that look for Marce?” Sofia asked.  
“The girl wants to add me to a chat with her friends.”  
“Do it, what bad could happen?”  
Thinking on what Sofia said I sent a quick yes to Lina, setting my phone down and finishing my food.  
After dinner, I cleaned the plates and binned the rubbish, turning to pull a glass out of the kitchen cupboard to pour myself some scotch, taking a seat on the armchair near the window. A half-empty carton of cigarettes lay on its side beside a yellow lighter. I placed a cigarette between my lips and brought the lighter up, flicking it twice before the cigarette caught fire. Taking a long drag, I pulled the cigarette away, breathing the smoke out. I played with the glass resting on the arm of the chair, listening to Sofia’s conversation from the other room. I finished what was in the glass and poured myself some more, bottle taking its permanent place beside the cigarettes.  
When I finished the bottle, my vision was slightly blurry. The clock read 7:30pm. Sofia was still talking on the phone so I got up to get the other bottle of Scotch. Sofia, walked into the living room, stopping at the entrance to the kitchen.  
“Everyone’s coming over for drinks.” She said, opening the fridge and taking a yoghurt pot out.  
“Tha’s fine. Lookin’ forward to I’.” I slurred, Scotch in hand.  
Sofia passed me a box of leftover chicken parmesan and a fork before I made my way to the chair again, throwing myself down and uncapping the bottle. I pulled a new cigarette to my mouth and lit it.  
Everyone arrived as I finished the second bottle of Scotch, looks of concern covered their faces.  
“Are you sure he should drink any more Sof? He’s already had two bottles.”  
“He’s an adult, he chooses what he wants to do. We can only hope he finds a different way to cope with his problems.”  
We all sat together and drank, me off my face in 30 minutes after downing 7 large bottles off 36% alcohol beer. Everyone else had a light buzz about them.  
It was around 10pm when everyone left to go home, being in walking distance meant they could get home. I made my way to my bed with a half empty beer bottle in hand. I kicked off my shoes before climbing into bed and opening my phone to notifications from a WhatsApp chat called ‘Boss Bitches.’ Lina’s name was the only one I recognised.  
Dirk: Where’s the guy you mentioned Lina?  
Lina: He’s here, maybe he’s busy!  
Pol: Sure girl, you probably snuck that photo of him at work and lied to us about giving him your number…  
Marcellus: Ahoy Lina! I didnt gt too mentin earlyier, at Strbuks, I thought you had a FIRE set of tits!  
Lina: Are you drunk?!!  
Marcellus: Iam almt evry knight Lina. Som may cal it alcoholism, but I calll it fuuuuuun.  
Sadie: A drunk? He doesn’t look like he’d be a drunk...  
Lina: He’s probably only had a few drinks. We’ll text in the morning Marcellus, get some rest.  
I huffed, shutting my phone off and connecting the charger before cuddling into the covers and falling asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up with a horrible, yet sadly familiar hangover. Groaning, I unravelled myself from the covers, taking the charger out of my phone and switching it on. The phone opened on the chat from last night, groaning louder, I decided to send an apology to everyone in chat. I stretched my neck as I looked through my wardrobe for some clothes to wear after my shower, deciding on a white shirt tucked into light blue dress trousers, a light blue sweatshirt, and a white pair of Adidas low-tops. I decided to also wear a pair of round silver glasses I got from Claire’s, not needing to wear prescription glasses, they were perfect.  
After my shower, I looked at my phone again, the time was 10:30am. I stopped walking back to my room, staring down at my phone and blinking a couple times. I sped to my PC in the living room, towel still wrapped around my waist and logged onto what we used for school. I clicked the join button beside the group, forgetting to turn my camera off, and a massive picture of my apartment was on display. Worst part, it was Professor Fayton’s class I was late to.  
“I’m sorry for my lateness sir, I had just woken up an hour ago and- “  
“And went for a shower, we can tell.” He mused. “You haven’t missed much Marcellus, we just started the call. We will give you five minutes and speaking of, can everyone turn their cameras on, it’s a new policy in the school that we have to see our students faces for attendance.”  
Everyone groaned as I got up to get dressed, hurriedly throwing the clothes I chose on. Making my way back, Sofia had placed a coffee and yoghurt pot on my desk with a note;  
‘Went to pick Kai up, should be back in 40!’  
“Welcome back Marcellus.” The professor spoke, a small smile tugged at his lips. “Are you going anywhere after this?”  
“Not that I’ve decided yet sir, I usually dress like this, maybe more business casual with more greys tones.”  
He hummed at my answer before beginning the class. 30 minutes later, Sofia and Kai walked into the apartment, Kai’s bags in their hands. They were both laughing at something as I turned to greet them back, being handed a breakfast sandwich from Starbucks. I had struck up a conversation with them, swivelling in my chair to face them properly.  
“Marcellus, what are you doing?”  
I turned back to face my PC, the professor’s eyebrows were knitted together, jaw locked.  
“My roommates came back sir, I was greeting them, sorry.”  
“Well, at least you have proper etiquette when talking to people but please refrain from doing that again.” He smiled. “As I have your attention now Marcellus, what are the two colours Pantone said were 2021’s colours of the year?”  
“Illuminating, which is a bright yellow hue, and Ultimate grey sir.”  
He smiled at my answer, congratulating me before continuing with the lesson.  
I had no other classes today, deciding to go to the library down the road again as usual. Picking up my bag from the floor, I took the laptop and everything out, new and old fashion magazines and random pieces of paper were placed onto my desk to be organized before I left. I placed my laptop back into the bag along with the magazines and my sketchbook, my pencil case was also put back in. I stood up, bag slung over my shoulder, and walked into the kitchen, grabbing a large travel mug and poured the coffee Sofia had made earlier in. Taking a sip, I left the apartment.  
Maughan Library was the closest that was available to the public, it was nice and rarely had anyone in it. I sat down in my usual spot, taking my stuff out, setting it all up.  
“Marcellus, nice to see you in person finally.”  
I turned to face the voice, Professor Fayton stood, hand on the back of the chair beside me.  
“Sir, it’s nice to see you, it is a bit of a surprise to see you, shouldn’t you be teaching?”  
“No, my next class isn’t until 3pm. May I sit?” He asked gesturing to the seat beside me.  
“Yes, sorry sir.”  
“No need to apologise and please, call me Lucian. What are you working on?”  
We conversed for a while, him helping me with colour and layout of logo designs. He was as I had thought, a laid-back, care-free guy with a cool attitude. He looked the watch on his wrist and then back to me.  
“Would you like to go get a coffee with me?”  
I nodded, packing my laptop, sketchbook and pencil case back into my bag, magazines in hand to return. We walked to the reception, ringing the bell. No one came over so I placed the magazines on the counter, following Lucian out of the library, he turned to face me.  
“Will Starbucks be fine with you?” He said, starting to walk to a black Range Rover sport.  
“Yeah, I don’t usually go to Starbucks though so you can choose a coffee for me.” I said, mentally face-palming.  
That was so cheesy it hurt. I felt like a schoolgirl around her teen boy crush.  
“I’d love to order you what I usually get, my daughter likes to take sips of my coffee every now and again so It’ll be decaf.”   
“I don’t really… drink coffee. I wouldn’t know the difference. There is a place near the Tesco that does ground coffee. I usually buy that for us.”  
He chuckled and opened the driver’s door, motioning for me to get into the passenger’s seat.   
We arrived at the Starbucks, him opening the door for me to walk in. We waited in line until we were next to order, familiar blue eyes met mine.  
“Hey Marcellus! I don’t think you saw the chat messages but we all forgive you for getting drunk last night.”  
I nodded my head towards Lucian, who was looking down at me with raised eyebrows.  
“Ohhh… sorry. Anyway, what’ll it be?”  
“Can I have a cold brew latte please Lina?” I said quickly, Lucian looking at me once again, before I walked off to wait in a chair.   
After Lucian had ordered, he walked up to me with a disappointed look on his face.  
“Marce- “   
“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to know I got drunk last night, not a good thing for your crush to fi- “  
“Crush? Marcellus, do you have a crush on me?” His eyebrows knitted together, head tilting slightly.  
“Oh god, todays the best day ever isn’t it?” I said throwing my hands up.  
“Marcellus, your behaviour is appalling, I know you aren’t having the best time right now but that isn’t a reason to be like this. Wait in the car.”   
I don’t know what about that sentence made me shiver. Maybe it was the domineering tone he used, or the fact he was treating me like a child and had reprimanded me. Either way, I apologised to him and walked back to the car and got in, waiting for him to come back.   
I was playing a mindless game on my phone when he came back, handing me my latte, placing his own drink in the cup holder.   
“We need to discuss what just happened Marcellus.” He said, turning his body slightly to face me. I opted to look at my feet and play with my thumbs.  
“Please Marcellus, you are acting like a child.”  
I bit my lip, turning my body to face him, a smile graced his face, making me smile in return.  
“Your behaviour in there was horrible, I’d have expected my daughter to do that not you.” He placed his hand on my thigh, rubbing his thumb on my knee. It felt comforting in a way.  
“I’m sorry sir, I didn’t really want you finding out I drank.” I mumbled.  
“About you having a crush on me Marcellus, is it true?”  
I took a deep breath, “Yeah. I don’t fantasize about having sex with you, I don’t find the appeal in sex. You just seem really… I don't know, nice and caring? Your patient and helpful and you helped me in the library with work for another class. I also really like how you dress, that’s a major thing for me honestly, I don’t want to be with person who dresses like they don’t care about themselves.” I noticed I was rambling so I stopped talking, waiting for his reply.  
“Well, I’ve known you for 2 years and you’re a good student with a brilliant work ethic. I’m not going to sit here and say I’ve not thought of you, because I’d be lying, but you aren’t even 20. I’m 8 years older than you and I’m your teacher.”  
I looked out of the window at the traffic, trying to think of something to say.  
“What if we tried though? Like we don’t need to go on dates or anything and sex is 100% off the table. Kissing and stuff is fine, so if we decide not to be together, what would make it awkward?”  
Lucian sat back in the seat, a hum being the only thing I could hear.   
“I want to see your apartment if that’s alright. From the call it looked very nice and I guess I want to spend time with you.”   
I had remembered Sofia had mentioned that all of us were going to hang out once I got back from the library.  
“Well, all my friends will be there so it might be cramped and loud, and they might bombard you with questions. Also, don’t lie to them about us,” I said pointing between us, “they know I have a crush on you.”   
He smiled as I told him my address, holding a casual conversation about coffee until we got to my apartment  
As I stepped through, the chatter died down, everyone staring at Lucian standing behind me with a coffee. I smiled sheepishly, leading Lucian into the apartment so he could get a good look.  
“Why am I not surprised all of you are friends?” He chuckled, taking his coat off, I took it from him and placed it on the coat rack beside the entrance.  
“Did you confess to him Marce?” Arlo said, a smirk played on his lips.  
“Maybe, cock sleeve, get out of the armchair.” I said as I hit him in the back of the head to speed him up, sitting down in his place.  
“That’s not a very nice name Marcellus.”  
“Oh don’t worry sir, he calls most of us names like that.” Eric chipped in.  
“Yeah, he hasn’t said my proper name the 4 years we’ve been friends because of how we met.”  
A puzzled look spread across Lucians face, he looked at me as if to tell me we were talking about it later.  
We all started chatting, mainly about some of the students in our classes, the words ‘slag’, ‘whore’ and ‘bitch’ flying around carelessly.  
“Well, I’ve got to go.” Lucian said, looking at the broken clock on the wall confused.   
I walked him to the stairwell leading down to the street. We stood facing each other, he obviously had something to say but was trying to figure out how to say it, most people got like that after talking with us.  
“That was anything besides boring.” He chuckled shaking his head slightly. “I believe since we are together now, I should give you my number.”  
We pulled our phones out and exchanged numbers, him sending a quick ‘hello’ before he left to check it was correct.  
“I’ll get you a new clock.” He smiled, leaning forward to place a kiss on my cheek.   
I said a quick reply, trying not to let the blush spread across my face. I watched him walk down the stairs and out of the front door before turning back to my apartment.


	4. Chapter 4

The conversation changed as soon as I stepped through the door into the apartment.  
“You got him!” They all screamed in unison, other words being said but they went over my head.  
“Well, now we have an adult that can go with us.” Arlo said, pointing at me.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Before you and your boyfriend came in we were planning the annual road trip, seeing as only 2 of us can drive and knowing you won’t want to drive, we needed an adult. So, we decided on your boyfriend!”  
I huffed in annoyance, every year since turning 16, we planned a long road trip across the country, one time we decided to go to France and Italy. I enjoyed myself every time we went, but the only people that could drive was Kai and myself.  
“Who said I wouldn’t drive?”  
“We’re going to Dubai Marcellus.” I slowly looked Eric, blinking slowly.  
“Don’t worry, we’re leaving in June, its February, we have 4 months of planning and stuff.” Sofia always saved Eric’s ass, even though she fought with him the most, you’d think they were dating.  
“Why Dubai?”  
“We did a random country generator and it came up with Dubai, we really didn’t care were we went as long as they had good nightlife.” Natalie said, a glass in her hand.  
When had Natalie gotten here? Well, I could’ve said that for the 5 people that didn’t live in the apartment, but I rarely spoke with Natalie one on one. I liked my close group friends and I believed I spent an equal amount of time with them all privately, but seeing as I barely spoke to Eric, Natalie and Fae without the others around, I began doubting it. I always seemed to push people away and with my drinking being a major problem for people, the only ones to stay are these seven, who I am grateful for but I can’t help the feeling I’m holding them back.  
“Are we going drinking tonight?” I asked, picking my travel mug up and washing it in the sink.  
“Marce, you really need to stop drinking.”  
I got pissed at those words. They were stating the obvious, and I already knew I needed to stop drinking as heavily but they really don’t know how hard it is.  
“That’s like asking a person with severe mental issues to ‘just find a new object to cling to.’ It’s not as easy as you think dumbasses.”  
I opened the cupboard that had the two bottles of vodka, grabbing them both, I placed them on the counter top. Pulling a pint glass from the cupboard and lemonade from the fridge, I took all the items to my room ready for another depression party.  
It was always the same thoughts that swirled in my head when I got drunk, the family that had made it their jobs to make a mentally fucked up child out of me. Encouraging me to drink and smoke at the ripe age of 9 and me not knowing any better, going along with it. They had beaten me to ‘deal with the real world’ and where never home at night, leaving me alone with the vast alcohol collection in the kitchen. Emotionally depriving me, maybe that’s why I’m overly polite, not having people I could casually talk with during my childhood. The performance anxiety kicking in at 12, being berated and hit if I didn’t get an A because ‘you are the last hope we have, you will make us rich and if you don’t we’ll make you regret staying alive.’ I had finished the two bottles of vodka, looking at my alarm clock the time read 9:45pm. Laughing at how pathetic I was being, I hauled myself out of bed and put my shoes and jacket back on, deciding to head to the bar. Walking past everyone in the living room, I picked up my cigarettes and lighter before heading to the door. Someone had asked me a question but it wasn’t easy to hear. Opening the door, I left.  
It was dark and cold, taxi’s and other cars buzzing about. I walked into the regular bar I visited, sitting down the bartender came up to me.  
“The usual?”  
I nodded, pulling my wallet from my jacket. I picked up the pint glass the bartender had placed in front of me, taking a big sip. It was one of those nights for me again, where I didn’t want to feel anything. The urge to just get off the stool and hurl myself off of the closest building dying down the more pints I drank.  
I lost count of how many pints I had drunk, my body temperature was definitely higher than normal.  
“Marcellus?”  
I turned to face the owner of the voice, slicked back black hair and honey coloured eyes blurred.  
“Lucian, baby hi!” I said as my body swayed, standing up to hug him; arms wrapping around his torso, pint still in hand.  
“Are you drunk Marcellus?” He asked, arms coming up to hold e straight.  
“He’s 13 pints’ in lad, and he came in already drunk. It usually happens so don’t get worried.” The bartender said.  
“I’ve got to get you back to your apartment.”  
“NO! I don’t wanna go, they’re the reason I’m drinking tonight.”  
“Marcellus, you cannot come back to mine, I have my daughter this week.”  
I knew I was being selfish, clinging and whining to him like a baby until he caved and took me to his. It was foreign to me, having someone care this much they would let me stay at their place, but I knew this wasn’t the case, I had whined and begged and practically told him he was a horrible person for not letting me stay at his. I knew that would be the fall of any and all of my relationships though, how I got overly clingy: drunk or not, and the thought of someone I love and cherish starting to hate me over time really got under my skin.  
Lucian had a nice house, big enough for a family of 4. There were photos of him and his daughter and another woman, his ex-wife, dotting the place. He led me towards his kitchen, a big clock on the wall near the back of the house. The time was 12:30am.  
“Your friends messaged me 10 minutes after I left saying you had started drinking, then I get a text saying you had left the apartment drunk.” He picked a glass from the cupboard, filling it with water from the tap.  
“I’m fine, always am. Just stupid depression and anxiety, the silence isn’t good for me.” I leaned back in the dinning chair he had lowered me into.  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
“Fuck no.”  
“Language. My daughter may be asleep but I don’t like a young man like yourself with such filthy vocabulary.” He smirked, leaning down and kissing the corner of my mouth.  
“Why don’t you teach me to be quiet?” I hummed at the end of the sentence.  
The smirk fell from his lips, face taking an almost sad expression. He pulled away and walked towards the fridge, pulling ham, cheese and butter out and placing them on the counter.  
“You said sex was 100% off the table.”  
“I didn’t mean sex, pervert. I just want you to kiss me.”  
He stopped buttering the bread and turned his head to look at me, a blank expression on his face. He turned back around, continuing to butter the bread. Whining, I stood up, stumbling towards him and wrapping my arms round his waist.  
“C’mon sir, I know you wanna.” I teased, placing my chin on his shoulder and rocking us from side to side.  
He continued to ignore me as he cut the cheese and placed the ham on the bread, moving over to the oven he pulled the grill out and placed the two sandwiches down, then putting the grill back and closing the door.  
I had walked back to the chair I was in, staring up at the ceiling. A balcony on the second floor was the only thing telling you not all the rooms were this tall. A face came into view above me, Lucian was standing over me with his hands on his hips.  
“I’m making us ham and cheese toasties and you are eating it no matter what.” He stated, pulling a chair from the table and sitting it beside mine.  
I continued to look up, arms dangling at my side. A hand grasped mine and squeezed, Lucian shuffling the chair closer to me. He grabbed my face and turned it so I was looking him in his eyes. A soft smile graced his lips, eyes crinkling at the corners as he slowly leaned closer, his breath was hot against my lips as we stared at each other, neither of us were confident enough to make the move.  
“Daddy, who is that?” A timid voice came from the kitchens entrance making Lucian jump and pull away to look at them.  
“This is Marcellus, my… partner?” He said, looking at me with a thoughtful look.  
“Oh yeah, I’m Marcellus. I’m with your dad.” I spoke slowly, trying not to slur my words.  
“What are you doing up sweetheart?” Lucian asked, walking over to her and picking her up.  
“I was thirsty.”  
Lucian chuckled and placed her back down before going to the cupboard for a cup. Irena stood clutching a duck toy to her chest, she was staring at me with wide eyes.  
“Why do you have grey hair?”  
The question startled me, no one really asked me why I had grey hair. Most assumed I dyed it for aesthetic.  
“It’s my natural colour, I can’t remember if I had a different colour it’s been that long.” I let out a breathy laugh looking at her.  
“It looks very pretty; I see why daddy couldn’t stop talking about you.”  
“Irena!” Lucian said, a faint blush spreading across his face.  
He handed her a cup of milk, shooing her back of to bed, he looked at me apologetically, my lips tugging up into a smile.  
“You talked about me, to who?”  
“Pretty much anyone who hadn’t got annoyed at me. I never told them you were my student and I may have lied about you age, so they all think you’re 25.” He trailed off.  
I chuckled, standing up to walk to him. They had lied about his height, I was 6”1 and Lucian was smaller, probably 5”8 maybe 5”9 if you pushed it.  
“So small, my small old man!” I said, grabbing his cheeks and smooshing them, Lucian looking back at me with furrowed eyebrows.  
“I’m not small or old.” He said.  
I laughed again, pulling my hands back and placing them on the sides of his neck. I leaned in, just as close as we were when we were sitting down, his eyes trailing down to look at my lips. I brushed our noses together slightly, foreheads now touching. I don’t know who leaned in first, but our lips had connected in a soft kiss. It wasn’t full of lust or a need for sex but filled with comfort. The rest of the details were foggy; I remember eating the toasty Lucian had made and him showing me his room and the toilet. I remember Lucian saying he was going to shower and then it’s blank.  
When I woke up, I was coddled in 3 layers of blankets placed on top of the bedcover I was in. I wiped the corner of my mouth and looked at the pillow, cringing as my saliva had made a dark patch on the chartreuse pillow, I loved the colour, he had good taste. The bedding was all green, chartreuse pillows and moss covers, all of which were solid colours. The blankets seemed to have been put on top not long ago, probably from his daughter coming to wake him up for breakfast. I groaned and rolled onto my other side so I could try go back to sleep, the curtains were open so the light was shining right into my eyes. I closed my eyes again, ready to go back to sleep, as the bedroom door opened. Something was placed on the bedside table, hands resting on my side, shaking me violently.  
“GET UP, IT’S 11AM! YOU HAVE CLASSES RIGHT?” Lucian shouted, starting to bounce my sleepy body.  
“No, I have today free up until 3. I have to go to school and pick up paper and shit for an assignment.” I said, sitting up and yawning, stretching my arms above my head.  
“Sorry about the blankets, Irena came in and just kind of laid them on you.” He pointed towards the armchair in the corner, probably where the blankets were kept.  
“Oh its fine, woke up nice and warm. Felt like I was being hugged.”  
Lucian smiled, picking the tray back up and handing it to me.  
“I’m not eating in bed.”  
“Why not?”  
“It’s a rule, no eating in any bed I’m staying in, it only gets messy.”  
Lucian hummed his answer, getting up with the tray still in his hands, and walked out of the room probably to the kitchen. I unravelled myself from the covers, noting I had not taken my clothes off from yesterday. A slight ache behind my eyes reminded me of how much I had drunk, pressing the balls of my hands into my eyes I groaned.  
I stepped out of the room, looking left to see the balcony overlooking the kitchen. I walked up to the railing and looked down to see Lucian doing the dishes, my breakfast placed on the table waiting for me. Lucian had a slim body, he had muscles that complimented his small form and damn did he look like he worked out a lot. The only thing that had caught me off guard when meeting him was how small his waist was and how his hips were accentuated because of it. I wondered if he would agree to join me in exercising one day just so I could see how he kept such a small waist. I pulled myself out of my thoughts as he was staring up at me, a small smile tugged at his lips as he turned back to finish the dishes. I turned away from the banister to walk down the hall to the stairs.  
As I entered the kitchen Lucian had taken a seat opposite where my food was, sipping on a cup of coffee.  
“I appreciate you staring at me, but I’m afraid your food may be cold now.” He mused, smiling into his cup and looked at me as I took my seat.  
“Oh it’s fine, I bet it’ll taste good hot or not.”  
The breakfast was pancakes and a side of syrup. Pancakes were enjoyed hot or cold so I didn’t really fuss over it. I poured all of the syrup over the pancakes before picking up the cutlery and cutting into the stack of 4. I brought the food into my mouth and chewed slowly to be able to savour the taste.  
“I have two in school classes today, you should probably get back to your apartment to talk with Sofia and Kai, they were rather distressed about you last night.”  
“Distressed my ass, they think it’s so easy for someone that uses alcohol as an escape to just up and quit. There is a reason I drink so heavily, no one really knows since it’s not really… what’s the word, important. But it’d like to assure you, it really isn’t a problem, never has been.”  
“Why do you drink?”  
“That’s a question I ask myself to. Why don’t I see a therapist, or talk about my trauma? It’s simple, I don’t deserve to get better. I deserve to lead a shitty life by myself and watch all my friends marry and start families and leave me as I drink more and more, starting to regret all of my decisions. You’ll leave me, I’ll have a high paying job and no one to share with. I’ll stop eating and taking care of myself and end up dying at 31 in a car crash or from committing suicide.”  
“Marcellus- “  
“You asked, I answered Lucian.”  
I stood up and took the dishes to the sink placing them inside. I had put such a damper on things I felt uncomfortable.  
“I’m saying this as your teacher Marcellus, I cannot be told that and not bring it up with the school. You could endanger yourself and others.”  
“Fuck sake. Sorry, I brought the mood down.”  
“No need to be sorry Marce, I just want what’s best for you. My, my ex-wife is a therapist, she deals with stuff like this. I could ask her if you want.” He had stood up at this point and made his way towards me, hugging me whilst he pushed his forehead into my back.  
“I don’t know; I don’t want to open this can of dog shit.”  
“What did I say about the language Marce?”  
I let out a shaky laugh, turning to pull him further into the hug.  
“Sorry, sorry. You can contact her and give her my number if you think it’ll benefit me but I don’t promise I’ll stick with it.”  
“I can only ask you to try.”  
We stayed like that for god knows how long, enjoying the silence of each other’s company. Lucian pulling away, saying he had a class starting in 10 minutes and he wasn’t dressed. I had told him I was calling Kai to pick me up at Saint Paul’s Cathedral, not a long walk from Lucian’s house. He had told me to be careful, giving me a quick kiss before waving me off.  
I hadn’t spoken to Kai the entire drive home, opting to stare out of the window. As I walked into the apartment, Sofia was sitting at the dining table on a class call with Lucian. Her camera was on and had the entrance on display. Lucian nodded his head left making Sofia look back at me. She had an apologetic look on her face, I mouthed a ‘sorry’ as sat at my desk in the corner of the room, Sofia’s eyes following me.  
“Hey, I’m going to Starbucks, you guys want anything?” Kai whispered, picking up their car keys.  
“Can I have a cold brew latte?”  
“Chai tea latte for me, thanks.”  
We both stayed silent long after her call had finished, I was working on an essay due on Monday about the use and moods of different fonts and Sofia was sketching. Kai had gotten back later than expected, apologizing for the wait as they handed us our latte’s.  
“You guys wanna play a game on my PS4?” They asked, pointing into the hall that led to out rooms.  
Sofia and I nodded, getting up and walking with Kai into their room, sitting down on the beanbags and picked up controllers.  
“We’re gonna play monopoly because I decided on monopoly.” They said.  
“Hey, I just really want to say how sorry I am for last night, I acted like a total douche and you guys didn’t deserve that.” I said, playing with the analogue sticks on the controller.  
“Don’t be sorry, I shouldn’t have said for you to stop drinking, I guess the drinking has gotten to me more than I thought.” Sofia said, beanbag moulding around her body as she laid back.  
“Thanks for texting Lucian, he took me to his.”  
“Yeah I know, he told me in call before everyone joined in.”  
We played monopoly until I had to leave to go pick up stuff from school, the teacher wanted us to design our own fashion line and apparently that also meant we had to make a physical piece they were to show in the school, I had chosen fabric and colours already for the designing stage and had little squares in my laptop bag, I picked the bag up before I left. The whole ride to the school was awful because the traffic was slow and the radio was playing god awful music. As I waited outside of the teacher’s room, many of the others stared at me, choosing not to sit close to me and whispering to their friends. At last, my name was called into the room. I walked in and the teacher asked if I know what I wanted. I showed her the fabric and other pieces I decided on as she wrote them down on her paper, handing it off to an assistant to go and cut. She had told me some of the fabric I wanted wasn’t in yet so I had to wait until the morning. I thanked the assistant as she handed the fabric and other pieces to me.  
I walked into the apartment and placed the fabrics onto my desk beside the PC. I decided to check my phone as I hadn’t checked it since yesterday morning. There were a lot of texts, mainly from Lina and her chat.  
Lina: Hey, sorry if I ruined the date you were on  
Lina: Marcellus, you’re not angry at me right?  
Lina: MARCELLUS  
You: I’m not angry Lina, sorry for getting back late, I just wasn’t having a good day yesterday. You did nothing wrong either, it was bound to come up sooner or later.  
Lina: Yeah, but I’m still sorry!!  
I decided to go into the chat next, most of her friends seem to have forgotten about my drunk escapade the other night.  
Lina: GUYS, HE TEXTED BACK!  
Dirk: Who?  
Sadie: Marcellus, the drunkie.  
Lina: He’s not a drunk, leave him alone  
You: You don’t need to defend me Lina, she is right though.  
We all chatted for a while, introducing ourselves and discussing random topics that were brought up. The group consisted of Lina, Dirk, Sadie, Pol, Mateo, Irvin and Jarvis, who all seemed very forgiving of our first conversation.  
I was enjoying the conversation as I got a text from Lucian.  
Lucian: Hey, just wondering how the thing at school went.  
You: It went as well as it could’ve, though some of the things I need won’t be in until tomorrow morning.  
Lucian: Tomorrow? When’s the assignment due in?  
You: Before Summer break I think.  
Lucian: Why is it taking so long?  
You: Well, the work was to make a whole fashion line and make concepts and designs and choose the best one to make from scratch.  
Lucian: Ahh, so what are you making?  
You: I’m making a business casual dress with a slit down the side for a leg opening and a cloak with a hood. There are accessories that I’ll make later but that’s the fabric I’m waiting for.  
Lucian: Ooo, fancy. You need any help?  
You: Nah, I’ll be fine but thank you for offering.  
We texted back and forth for a while, stopping so he could make him and his daughter dinner and so I could go eat what Sofia had made.  
After dinner, I checked my phone again, seeing a text from an unknown person, I clicked it.  
Dr, Fayton: Hey Marcellus, I’m Dr, Erika Fayton. Lucian gave me your number so we could talk a little. I know about your relationship with him and how he’s your teacher, which is all fine, you are old enough to make your own decisions. That is not what I’ve been referred to you for so I will cut to the chase. Will it be alright if we have a little chat over text first just so we can get to know each other?  
You: Hey, it is nice to meet you and hope there are no ill feelings between us. I would love to have a chat with you over text first.  
Dr, Fayton: I’m glad you’re willing to, not many people would. I’m happy for Lucian, he always talked about you when he dropped Irena off and you seem to make him happy which is all I want. Now, Lucian gave me a rundown of your conversation this morning.


End file.
